Knowing and Nurturing Our Children As Spirit
What does it mean to know and nurture a child as spirit? For that matter, what exactly is spirit? Spirit is what we all are before nature and nurture has a chance to influence us as a person. It is that quality which some refer to as “innateness”. And becoming attuned with this innateness of a child holds the key to unlocking the power that is divine within her.
Spirit is what drives a child’s innate passions like a love for dancing, a gift of artistry, or a talent for leadership. It is how two brothers can have completely opposite characters despite being raised in the same manner by the same parents. By the same token, innateness is the distinct similarities shared between siblings who were reared separately because their souls are eternal companions.
New life holds all that is authentic of the soul. For an infant it is the character immediately present after birth, like his tranquil disposition, or her tendency to be fearful. It is the sparkling light within the eyes of a child, the distinctive presence that can fill a room no matter how small the body. It is the timeless and eternal essence, the part of us that transcends all in the physical world.
Not yet tainted by life experiences an infant may present behaviors which seem curious if not downright challenging. Why is it that some fuss more than others? Why are some born exceptionally sensitive? How is it that even identical twin newborns can clearly have different temperaments when they share the same genetic composition? Obtaining the answers to these questions is not as easy as reaching for a textbook on genetics. Nor can they be found in parenting advice journals. The answers are those which lie in the domain of the spirit.
Science cannot explain innateness because it is the expression of the soul. There are no genetic codes that can reflect nor predict the traits the soul brings with it when he is born. Certain strengths and weaknesses in a young child are the inherent traits of that child’s inner being. A child comes into this world not as a clean slate but as an everlasting soul. His spirit is not a reflection of those he physically resembles. He may have the same color eyes as his mother, the same feet as his father, and the same wavy hair as his brother but know that a child’s inner being is purely unique. Studies of the physical world elude innateness.
We, as a society, have come to rely on parenting trends to tell us how to raise our children. It is a collection of methods based on popularity in a one size fits all approach. We have surrendered our own powerful attunement with our children in lieu of the illusion that someone knows more about our beloveds than we do.
When we nurture our children according to trends, as opposed to the uniqueness of their spirit, we abandon our intuitive bond with them. We quiet the little voice inside ourselves that guides our heart and mind. We no longer trust our own instincts when it comes to parenting.
What would be some of the possible consequences of this type of nurturing? As an infant, we may rob our child of the nurturing she needs to sustain her individuality. We may try to “train” her to sleep on her own when she is deeply sensitive and in need of close comforting. As she ages what will her sensitivity seek out when she requires comforting? Unhealthy isolation, drugs or alcohol, and unhealthy relationships just may do the trick.
What about the stress we place on our children (and ourselves for that matter) when we enroll our children in numerous activities? We shuttle our children from one activity to next without bothering to ask ourselves, “Is this what my child is interested in?” Or “Does my child have a natural talent for this activity?” Sometimes it’s an issue of encouraging your child to do something you are interested in. In these cases the pressure we place on our children can morph into something quite ugly. We may argue with coaches when they justifiably bench our child. We may demand that our child do better, when that particular aptitude doesn’t exist within her. Or worse, we may make them feel like a failure.
Knowing and nurturing our children as spirit guides us in raising our children by deeply understanding their innate strengths and weaknesses. A sort of assessment of all that encompasses their being, spirit includes mind, body, and soul. We take notice of their flair for dancing, their aversion to competitiveness, their gift of physical agility, or their lack of coordination.
And as our children grow older this attunement with their essence can assist you in helping them choose a career path that will serve the power of their spirit. If you need assistance with guiding your older child’s choice of career there are several excellent books designed to counsel based upon an individual’s unique traits. One I like is “Do What You Are” By Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, but there are other fine works available. Many young adults make the mistake of getting caught up in a career path that is wrong for them. One which does not make use of their innate capacities or works against the intricacies of their nature. How many times have you heard of a young person who went to college for a specific vocation only to find out after graduation she hates the job entailed? Sadly it happens all too often. And many do not get a second chance to pursue their true calling.
Nurture a child’s unique spirit and watch as his full potential is unleashed. Encourage trueness to himself that opens a realm of endless possibilities. Nothing else can promote such health, sense of well-being, and fulfillment for our children as the accomplishment of aligning the brilliance of their soul with the logic of their mind and endurance of their body. So forget what anyone ever told you about raising your own child and experience her uniqueness. Get behind her eyes and perceive her likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses as best you could. Then simply nurture her accordingly. This is knowing and nurturing your child as spirit; you’ve given the world what it summoned your child for.
